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Journal Archives: July 17, 2010 The orphan dolls have prompted several conversations with my kids over the last couple of weeks about orphans around the world. Often times when thinking of the orphans, I get overwhelmed. I get overwhelmed at the sheer number of them. Every 15 seconds, another child becomes an orphan, and that's just in Africa. It breaks my heart to think of all the children without families to call their own. Without a mom or a dad. Without someone to love them. I wore one of my orphan advocate shirts {from http://147millionorphans.com/} to church on Sunday morning. The woman helping me in the nursery looked at my shirt, read it "147 million orphans in the world" and said "That's depressing" and then moved on to a different conversation. I was stunned. I later brought up the conversation again and shared my heart about the orphans. I hope it didn't fall on deaf ears. But this conversation made me think of the time right after we brought our son home from Ethiopia last year. I was really struggling with going back to every day life after seeing what I did in ET. One of my good friends shared this story with me. I hope it ministers to you like it did to me. The Starfish Thrower by: Loren Eiseley "There was a man who was walking along a sandy beach where thousands of starfish had been washed up on the shore. He noticed a boy picking the starfish one by one and throwing them back into the ocean. The man observed the boy for a few minutes and then asked what he was doing. The boy replied that he was returning the starfish to the sea, otherwise they would die. The man asked how saving a few, when so many were doomed, would make any difference whatsoever? The boy picked up a starfish and threw it back into the ocean and said 'Made a difference to that one...' " There are many orphans in the world. There are WAY too many. And sadly, I know I can't save them all. BUT I do know that I CAN make a difference! My family has been called to adopt. We support other adopting families. We purchase products that help fund special ministries caring for the least of these. We sponsor a little girl through Compassion International. And we pray. We pray for the children left behind. We pray that other families would step up and care for them. We pray that God would protect them and care for them when we cannot. We pray. June 30, 2010 Already, the orphan dolls have been a great reminder for me and my family to pray for the orphans all over the world. My husband and I have 2 biological kids, ages 5 & 4. We just brought home our youngest son {almost 2 years old} from Ethiopia last year. And we're in the process of adopting again. The orphan dolls went on our first outing yesterday to watch our oldest son play baseball. Our daughter was happy to carry the dolls and place them in the lap of our dear friend who also came to observe the game. She has been an amazing support for us in our adoptions. As I explained what the dolls were about, I could see others all around us intrigued and listening. I pray their hearts were touched. I pray that it will open up conversations with them at our next ballgame tomorrow night! --Stephanie Monge May 31, 2010 When we returned from Vacation this last weekend I was so excited to find that the dolls had arrived. I carefully took out and had a time of devotion with my children as we discussed James 1:27 and the impact that verse has had on our family and explained how we are going to pray over the dolls and for the millions of orphans they represent and for God to raise up christian families ready to die to self and step out in faith and open their homes and lives to the fatherless. --Joy Portis May 20, 2010 During our last time of prayer with the dolls, I just let our youngest children "The Toddlers"- Emma, Aiden and Elia pray over the dolls. Former orphans themselves, I know their prayers though small and somewhat unintelligible to earthly ears, were BIG and POWERFUL, a sweet, sweet sound in His ears. We prayed for children all over the world that they would feel the Love of the Father. We prayed for families to be raised up for each one. We prayed for Ukraine. The homeland of two of our children. We prayed for young women here in our own country carrying children in their wombs, that they would choose LIFE for their children. We were blessed to see many children welcomed into families during our time with the Orphan Dolls- children like Chloe, Bella, Ellison, Jonah, Eliana, Ana, Eli, Tatia, Joanna, Simenesh, and many more. We rejoice for this who have found their forever families, and we cry out for justice for those orphans who are waiting for love. Crying out for the church to take her place and care for the orphan. As we tucked the dolls in their box, the Toddlers decide that they needed a blanket for their journey. So they were wrapped up tight, blessed once again and sent on their way. And we are as a family forever committed to proclaiming James 1:27 and walking it out however the Lord leads. Tracie Loux Kansas City, Missouri April 15, 2010 The Orphan Dolls have been at our house way to long for me to have not written an update, but life as a momma of 6 keeps me pretty busy. About our family: We are the Loux Family- John and Tracie, Nick (17), Taylor (14), Isabelle (12), Aiden (4), Emma (3 1/2) and Elia (3)from Kansas City, Missouri. Adoption has been part of our family for over 10 years when our first nieces were adopted from the Marshall Islands. Our own adoption journey began 4 years ago, when we decide to prepare our family to adopt a newborn here in the United States. We had been standing in prayer for the ending of abortion in our nation; and we felt like the Lord was asking us to take our prayers a step further, and to make ourselves available to any woman who chose life for her unborn child but was unable to raise that child. In 2007, we adopted Elia Jane and our hearts were set on fire with the spirit of adoption. A year later, I became an adoption consultant, and began working to help other couples walk through their own adoption journeys, seeing dozen of children adopted into amazing, loving Christian home. In late 2008, we were made aware of the plight of orphans in Eastern Europe. We discovered that children with special needs are not valued and are orphaned at birth and that if not adopted by age 5 are institutionalized for life with no hopes of ever finding a family. The minute we laid eyes on the photo of our own Aiden who has Down Syndrome, we moved forward to adopt him, and in March of 2009 we traveled to adopted him and made the last minute decision to bring home "just one more." God led us to Emma, and she and Aiden joined our family in March 2009. We live our lives out of James chapter one. We have been currently working through James 1 in our family devotions breaking it apart verse by verse. We are committed to living out the spirit of adoption in our family and to helping others walk in the same. The Orphan dolls have joined our family devotions where the little ones have been thrilled to pray over them and pray with them, that orphans all over the world would experience the Love of Jesus and would be adopted not only into HIS FAMILY, but will be welcomed into an earthly family as well. We are part of a prayer ministry, The International House of Prayer, and the Orphan Dolls have joined us in the Prayer Room where they have been soaked in prayer. We are excited to see Kimmie and her Knight take off on their adventure to rescue yet one more. We are confident that as we soak these precious dolls in prayer just a bit more before sending them on their way, that the Father of all is hearing our prayers and will stir the hearts of many to open their homes and their hearts to "care for orphans in their distress." Tracie Loux Kansas City, Missouri www.tracieloux.wordpress.com Feb 28, 2010 So here we are, with two adopted children: two children that God, in His great wisdom, ordained - from the beginning of time - to be in our family. I truly feel privileged to be a mother to all my children, but I feel a special honor to have been chosen to be the adoptive mother of my adopted children. I am so thankful that God saw fit to form our family this way! I love it that when my children play, their conversation is full of talk of “orphans and orphanages and adoption”. I love it that when my biological children talk about their families someday, it’s a GIVEN to them that they, too, will adopt children. I am so grateful that the decision God led Mark and I to make will impact the next generation through our own children and their hearts for orphans. I am also excited to see the ways that God is using our family to encourage others in the area of adoption. Because our son is Guatemalan and our daughter is African-American, most of the time when we go out as a family, I feel like we’re a walking advertisement for adoption! :) People often stop and ask us about adoption, and it has given us a natural platform to share WHY we have done this. I have become much more purposeful in my response than I used to be, because I recognize that this is a unique opportunity. Instead of saying “we’ve just always had a heart to adopt”, I try to say something in the line of: “This is the heart of God. This is His idea- throughout the Bible. And we love God and want to obey Him and that’s why we’ve done this. We became passionate about this because He was passionate about it first.” I trust, too- that God is using our family to influence others- people who know us well: younger couples in our small group, and other families we see on a regular basis, to stir their hearts towards adoption, too. Now. About the orphan dolls... I pray that I can effectively communicate what it is that God has been speaking to my heart this past year or so. The arrival of the orphan dolls in our home has only confirmed what He’s been saying to me. I think the nature of the adoption process sort of sets it up to be like it’s something you work toward, and then achieve. You begin with the conversations with your spouse: “Are we going to do this thing? Should we go for it?” And when that’s a yes, there’s the paperwork, the home study, the social workers, the money sent. Then there’s the waiting. When you finally get your child home it’s as if you’ve achieved this great thing God wanted you to do. And it *is* a great thing. It is a beautiful, wondrous thing. I don’t want to take away from that. But it’s not the *only* thing. Getting that baby home for us- both times- was just the initial step of obedience. But that is not all God called us to. He has called us to a lifetime of a commitment to this boy, our son. And this girl, our daughter. And any other orphans He may send our way. They are broken, these children. They have huge hurts in their tiny bodies. All the books say it: that adopted children know it; this separation from their birth mother. They can’t verbalize it, they don’t even know what it is, exactly- but it leaves a mark. An older woman in our church, adopted herself, said it this way: “It’s as if I have always had a hole in my heart.” There’s a song we sing in church that I love. It’s called God of Justice, by Tim Hughes. Here are the lyrics: God of Justice, Saviour to all Came to rescue the weak and the poor Chose to serve and not be served Jesus, You have called us Freely we've received Now freely we will give We must go live to feed the hungry Stand beside the broken We must go Stepping forward keep us from just singing Move us into action We must go To act justly everyday Loving mercy in every way Walking humbly before You God You have shown us, what You require Freely we've received Now freely we will give Fill us up and send us out Fill us up and send us out Fill us up and send us out Lord I love that song because it stirs everything in me to want to GO and do all that. One morning as I sang those words, God clearly spoke to me that I didn’t need to go anywhere, right now- to rescue the weak and the poor. They are living right under my own roof. I just need to stand beside my own broken son. To love HIM. God has sent me “out” to my own home to love and nurture and continue that act of obedience that began when we adopted. When that white box arrived at our house a few weeks ago, I opened it up and discovered the two orphan dolls inside. They seemed so forlorn to me, lying there in that box. They didn’t have any little doll clothes on them, and nothing came with them. Just two dolls tossed in the bottom of a white box, and sent on their way. They looked almost lonely, and stark against the inside of the box. My children immediately ran and got the bin of doll clothes and clothed them and held them. I looked up their names- Hope and Chance- and they began calling the dolls by name. They squabbled a bit about who would get which doll and for how long and “can he/she sleep in my bed tonight, mommy?” Within minutes the dolls were fully dressed, properly hugged, and then propped up on our couch, snuggled under some blankets, “reading” books. They’ve been cuddled into bed each night with our kids, loved and held. God reminded me all over again that that’s my job, too, as an adoptive mother. To continue the [sometimes exhausting, seemingly overwhelming] work- of clothing and holding and loving and snuggling these adopted children He’s entrusted to us. Feb 25, 2010 [The orphan dolls arrived just days before our family got hit with the stomach flu, and then following that, a really bad cold we passed around, and once we recovered from that: our two littlest girls had their birthdays. I apologize for the gap between my last post and this one!] I thought I’d take a little time to introduce myself and share a little of our own adoption story. (I hope that’s okay... I don’t really know the “rules” to this journaling thing here, but I think that’s the easiest way for me to go about this..... :)) My name is Stacy, and I’m a happy wife to my great husband Mark, and a happy stay-at-home, homeschooling mama to five beautiful children, two of whom are adopted. For as long as I can remember, I have had the desire to adopt. Mark and I talked about it even before we were married, and our “plan” was that we would have a few of our own and then adopt. God’s plan was different (and better, so much better! --although I admit, I was slow at coming around to that realization.) We struggled with infertility for years before we were able to have our first child, and those were very difficult, very painful years. Our second was a miracle pregnancy, and after that God was making His plan very clear to us: that we should stop waiting on *our* plan and instead, follow His, which was to adopt-- not later, when we thought the time was right, but NOW. He put this verse on our hearts at that time, and it has been a verse close to our hearts ever since: “A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families.” Adoption is God’s heart. He is a father to the fatherless. He longs to set the lonely in families. He was calling us to be one of those families. I knew that we had love to give, room in our home and around our table, and arms to hold whoever He would send us. God had blessed us with so much, and we had much to give. And so we started on that adoption journey... Our first adoption- of our third child- was an international adoption: we adopted our son from Guatemala when he was 9 months old. He is now almost five years old. God is faithful, and He has taught us so much and grown our faith so much through our adoptions. During our first adoption, He taught us utter dependence upon Him, specifically in the area of finances. We began that process with um, let me see- NO money in the bank. We held a garage sale to just get enough money for the $195 application fee. Not to mention the, you know- OTHER $25,000+ we were going to have to come up with. But we knew this was God’s idea, and that because of that, He would be faithful to make it happen. And He did. He came up with every penny. Following that adoption, I longed to be pregnant again. That was our prayer and we wanted to sort of settle back into our plan. At that time I also felt God speaking to me about serving the poor. Here I was, seeking Him, inquiring as to how we should be ministering to the poor: What, Lord, can I be doing? Simultaneously I was praying, "bless us with more children." What I wanted was a pregnancy. A child to grow within me, to deliver, to nurse. And a ministry to the poor on the side. I wrote this in my journal around that time: "But You, Lord? What You want may be this: To have us take in children who are poor. To preach good news to them, to bind up their broken hearts, to proclaim freedom to them and release them from their darkness. To comfort them. To be able to give them the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair." And somehow, right then, I was sure that that's what I'd been missing all along. God had seen fit to answer our prayers for a baby through the lens of His kingdom-purposes. At the time I did not feel a joyful obedience, but a relenting to His plans for us, and for the children He desired to bring us. I surrendered my own desires and told Him that we would walk obediently forward into the unknown (by us) and yet seen and known and planned (by Him). And it was at that time that we began our second adoption, of our fourth child, which was done through our state’s foster-to-adopt program. We welcomed our new daughter into our home when she was just days old. She turned two this past weekend. {More to come...} Feb 8, 2010 We received the orphan dolls in the mail today! I anticipated what was in the box and so I gathered the kids around it and told them to listen, because I had a story to tell them. I told them about how sometimes when God speaks, He asks us to do things that might seem a little funny to our ears. Like when He told Joshua to march around the walls of Jericho seven times. (Because that seems silly! If He was going to tumble down those walls anyway, why didn’t He just DO it right away?) Or when Jesus told Peter to throw out his line and open the mouth of the first fish he caught to find a coin to pay taxes. Why didn’t he just make a coin appear without having Peter go to all that trouble? Then I shared that I had a friend (Kimmie) that God had spoken to. I went and got their recent family picture and showed it to them, and reminded them of who they were-- we’ve been praying for them for years, but we don’t always look at their picture when we pray! I told them that Kimmie and her husband, and their children, too- have a heart for the orphans, and that when Kimmie was praying one day, God told her to make these dolls. And then he told her to send them away to the different homes of her friends so that they could remind us to pray for the orphans around the world. And that *we* got to be one of the families to care for these two dolls. We opened the box, and there they were: two cute orphan dolls. My children immediately embraced the dolls and began making plans for how to dress them and who got to play with them and sleep with them and all sorts of things. And we plan to concentrate our prayers on the plight of the orphans around the world while they are in our home. --Stacy Dec 28, 2009 The orphan dolls have spent the holidays with us... what a special time to have these two precious guests! I think this the time of year when people become more introspective about giving and service, anyway. But this particular Thanksgiving and Christmas, we were given the unique opportunity to think on and pray about our role in the care and responsibility for orphans. This season has been full of Christmas parties and houseguests so we've been able to expose others to the plight of orphans in a tangible way! Everyone wants to hold and cuddle the dolls! They are a unique conversation starter but I believe they truly are more than just that. I think they just might have more influence that a simple conversation on the "facts and figures" regarding orphans; they remind us that orphans are children and they have faces. On a corporate level, our Sunday School class at church has decided to sponsor a child in Haiti. Not everyone has the means or desire to adopt, but everyone can pool resources and make a significant impact on one child! In terms of what has been happening in the hearts of our own family, I must say that we're continuing to seek God's will for how and when we will again expand out family through adoption. Our youngest son has now been home from Haiti for nine months and we're waiting for the Lord's leading and timing. Our oldest daughter (age 17) has decided to sponsor a four year old little girl in Haiti; we're so proud of the self-sacrifice she is exhibiting. Our younger children (8,6 and 4) love holding the dolls and talking about what they will do for orphans when they get older; they talk about adopting, going on mission trips and working in orphanages. They've been exposed to the reality of adoption, so this is an easy concept for them to grasp. I would love to see presentations in churches with similar dolls or even puppets - so children in American families might begin to understand how blessed they truly are and will grow up with a desire to care for orphans. This is an idea I'd like to pursue further through our church's orphan ministry... And a cute personal note: during the time we've had the dolls, family friends who were recently licensed as a foster family received an absolutely precious newborn BOY! Other friends of ours (who have had monumental obstacles in their adoption from Ethiopia) will be bringing their baby GIRL home next week!! I just thought that was awfully special. We're eager to see how the dolls impact others and will send them along after our last orphan-focused family devotion. Love in Christ, Beth November 19, 2009: At church last Saturday, during our sharing time we had the opportunity to share the orphan dolls with our church family. I read to them what the Lord had asked me to say on behalf of Hope and Chance (see end of last post for more info). As I was reading my voice started to get shaky and my neck and chest started feeling very warm. When I was done, our pastor asked if someone would pray. As a congregation we were led in prayer for the orphans and widows of the world. We asked the Lord to show us how he would have us help them in their distress, whether through prayer, supporting them financially, or inviting them into our homes, and for courage and support in doing his will. Sharing time continued, and other people shared things that had been going on it their lives that week; two of which pointed out how what I said about the orphans reminded them about what they shared. It was encouraging to see how the Lord has already been working in peoples lives to awaken them to the orphans already around them. After church several people wanted to come hold the dolls and share how much they loved the idea of them and their mission. One gal had already heard about them through blog-land and was so thrilled to meet them in person. It encouraged me too to see just a little glimpse of how BIG this mission from God truly is. Amazing things are happening!!! Praise the Lord! Praise him Always!!! November 6, 2009: Hope and Chance arrived at our door. We quickly opened their package and greeted them with warm hugs. (Kimmie you are right; they do carry the very Glory of God; as this is His mission, His doings.) While they have been here, God has been calling me closer to Him and to trust in HIS ways. When we agreed to have the orphan dolls stay with us on their mission we felt the Lord asking us to share their mission with our church family. We were delighted to do so, and I looked forward to their arrival so we could do just that. The day after their arrival, we had our first opportunity to share at church, and that afternoon as Corey and I were discussing what to say, the Accuser quickly tried to stop us by saying to me, “How silly of you to want to share DOLLS with your church. Everyone will just smile politely but be thinking you are a bit nutty. YOUR WORDS WILL FALL ON DEAF EARS and people will want to distance themselves from you. You will most likely loose friends if you go through with this.” To this my courage and faith said, “I will boldly go and do what I feel the Lord asking me to do, even if I loose friends or dignity in the eyes of man.” However, I still felt silly. And so I said to Corey, “Do you think sharing these dolls with the church is a bit silly?” To which he replied, “Do you think the Israelites thought is was silly to march around Jericho for six days? Even if we don’t understand God’s ways shouldn’t we still do them?” “Yes, we should. What do you think we should say to the congregation tonight?” “Let’s pray and ask God for his guidance.” After praying we felt right to bring Hope and Chance with us to church and share their mission with anyone who asked about them, but to wait until this coming Saturday to share with the whole church. This would give us time to pray with them over the week and wait to hear what the Lord would have us say. That evening, three people asked about the dolls, wondering if I had made them. This gave us an opportunity to share about them, but I felt our words were too many. Telling them about how they came to be and why they were here did seem to fall on deaf ears with people replying “Oh, that’s neat”, “Oh that’s great”. (But really what more am I to expect? And since, the Lord has encouraged me to know seeds have been planted.) Two nights this week as I laid in bed, I felt a huge heart ache for Hope and Chance (as they were out on the couch in the living room). It was almost as if they were calling me to come hug them and snuggle with them as I slept. The first night I ignored their cry. The second night I realized it was the Lord who was putting this ache in my heart. So I called out to him, saying “Yes Lord”. “These dolls are made of cotton and fluff, however, they represent the cry of all the orphans of the world. I have heard their cry. Do not be ashamed to love these dolls as you would the real, live, orphans they represent. Go to them. Love them. Pray for them. Do not oppress them and allow their words to be heard”. Following he gave me the words to share.... "Meet Hope and Chance. They represent the 143 million orphans of the world, and are on a mission to share God's call to His people. They are traveling across the country to spread His word and ask for prayer for their mission. Our home is one of twelve they will be visiting before they set out into the world. The Word they've come to share is James 1:27, PURE AND GENUINE RELIGION IN THE SIGHT OF GOD THE FATHER MEANS CARING FOR ORPHANS AND WIDOWS IN THEIR DISTRESS AND REFUSING TO LET THE WORLD CORRUPT YOU. Their hope is that ALL who hear this message will humbly seek the Lord and ask Him what He would have them do for the orphans of the world today, and that the Lord would supply courage to do His will." PRAISE BE TO GOD!!! ~Andrea October 30, 2009: How excited I am for the dolls to venture further into the call that God has for them. How exciting it is to know they are heading from prayer to prayer, from lifted arms to lifted arms. With each home they visit, they bring fresh vision from Heaven. Though the dolls are but made of cotton fabric, they carry the very Glory of God; as this is His mission, His doings. We are the fortunate ones who He has allowed to be a part of this! Oh, that we would all join in prayer in seeking God for the orphans of this world...whether there is 143 million or 148 million, as I recently read. Oh, that we would diligently ask God what we can do as individuals, as churches, as communities to reach out and change orphans lives. May the dolls go out in Power...May the Holy Spirit work in and through them to change hearts towards orphans. May we see His hand at work and may we testify to His greatness at work for them. Thank you Debrah for seeking God. Thank you for this website and your heart toward the world's orphans. Excited for the day when James 1:27- caring for orphans- becomes real for all of us. God bless you as you release them to Andrea and Corey! Believing God for Kingdom impact here on earth. Your Kingdom come, your Will be done oh Father. In Jesus' name~ amen! Kimmie http://overthemoonwithjoy.blogspot.com September 27, 2009: I havn't updated the journal in a few days now, really several since my last bigger entry. Its been busy, none-the-less changes here and there and in places where you don't expect. Several people I know have kids, are expecting kids by birth or kids by adoption. Last summer a little girl I was advocating was found by her family, and this summer through Christmas her family is advocating for another little girl, Olga (4) I have been praying for in faith that God knew where her family was and would bring them to her. Her name is a link to take you to her page but you will have to scroll down part way to find her. In the mean time, Hope and Chance and I have been hanging out, they spend time in my kitchen, time at work, we didn't get to go to the park yet but that is hopefully going to happen tomarrow. At work they have met alot of my co-workers, get seen by the guests, they have a way of making everyone smile, I can't wait for you to see it happen. I have new pictures of them sitting at the front desk where I have from the start of this imagined them to be. I asked my Co-worker C who always asks me about them if she wanted a picture with them and she laughed, in a good way, but seemed a little shy of the idea so, we didn't get a picture with them and her. But I have a few more I will try and post tomarrow. What I am learning when I ask what to do about adoption is to keep talking for kids like Olga, and Mara and Dimitry, and not to rush into adopting yet like I so want to do. Its not yet time, as much as I want it to be, and believe me I want it to be but I am definately feeling a, this is your work for now, talk about them, get them homes - one day, yours will come when it is time. I think this is a gentle reminder that sometimes you have to wait, sometimes the answer is no, sometimes you are just not ready. But at the same time, I am assured, that it will happen. So for now I will keep talking and trust in God. Tonight I will sign with love, as I know they have to move on to a new home soon. Please pray for those families adopting that you know, please pray for the families adopting that I know. Especially pray for those kids and families whom have not found each other yet. Please pray for them every 'chance' you get. With Love, Debrah, Chance and Hope, Tucson, Arizona, 09.27.09 Posting for September 24, 2009: Taking the 'kids' with us to the park today. Will let you know how it turns out. Posting for September 17, 2009: Today we went out to my mom's house about an hour north of where I live. From the start I had told her about this project, and today was the day she got to meet the kids for herself. When I was a little girl our family didn't have alot of money one Christmas -my mom and dad just bought a house- and so my mother made us all each a little rag doll and this little stuffed, cloth doll house and family of three bears. I didn't realise it was because we didn't have alot of money. To this day it remains one of my best Christmases ever in my memory, and the memory held. Hope and Chance look so much like the little dolls my mother made. So, I got them in the car, drove out to where I grew up, and introduced them to my mom. She wasn't expecting them and neither was my brother, he just had a baby so he got right into the, 'Deb's Kids' part of this. I never expected to talk to my brother really about adoption. He asked me why they were two sided, and I told him that they represent all orphans everywhere. After that we started getting really silly but it was fun. We went out to the front yard of my house in Arizona where I grew up and took pictures of the kids in a tree, on the back of a car -it was parked, don't worry, but my brother still got after me for 'putting my kids up there' lol! And then I took one of me standing in front of the desert. All my life, this desert was my front yard, and for some reason to get a picture with me and the dolls there just felt right - sort of like, a pass-it-on-down- to-the-next-family-to-look-back-on-where-we-have-been sort of thing if that makes any sense. My sister even made sure they were under a seatbelt before it was over, I got pictures of that too but it is in her camera and not mine, so I will post them later. The funny thing is, she didn't realise they were two-sided and did a double take because I had both the brown sides facing out. When she found out they were two-sided she was grinning ear to ear about it. I have a feeling my time with them is coming to a close, its not really my decision, God is at work here and I am feeling urged to know its almost time to send them on. Honestly, I am sad and will miss them, but I am very happy to know they will be going on to share with others like they have already shared here. I will miss having them here and watching the sparkle in people's eyes. They are just little cloth dolls? I didn't understand the sadness that came with letting them go, but I do now. It is almost a pain, mixed with fear and happiness at the same time. Overall happiness and love, just having them in your hands, you can feel the love pour out of them at times. I am glad to have a place in the Orphan Doll chain. Still praying over what I am to do for Orphans, I am supposed to get word out about them however I can, I think, until He tells me it is time to adopt. I know that I just need to not rush like I so want to do or probably it will cause heartache and will not work. It took effort for me to write that because I see everyone else with families and kids and yet - not me. I am still not ready financially to support a child, emotionally I think I am but until I am there in the moment I don't have a clue. I know however that when it is time I will be ready emotionally and financially and in every way. Having faith is a hard thing sometimes, but that is what faith really is - believing in things you cannot see. I feel urged to write that maybe in some way this will lead someone to adopt little Dimitry or Mara, these two kids have been on my heart for a long time. If not then maybe some child somewhere will find a home. No, not sending the kids out just yet. But soon. Stay tuned on the site and oh, I've uploaded a couple more pictures. Always, Debrah 09.19.09 September 16, 2009: My co-worker C noticed I brought the dolls to work again last night, she checked first thing, she has taken to checking to make sure I am, as she says, 'being a good mom.' I told her I had written here about how I forgot them and she started laughing. I just thought its really sweet that she checks for them every day. Also, I have opened the pictures page of the website if you want to see me, Hope and Chance together. I am going to my mom's house tonight and taking them with me there as well. I mentioned them to my mother before and she wants to see them too. I was thinking too, if anyone wants to leave comments please feel free to type them in the 'submit your entry' box above, just please make a note on it for me that it is a comment and for what entry by date. This has been fun. I can't wait to get them to my mom's house! September 15, 2009: ...oh - how people love Hope and Chance. I had one person put two and two together - the mission and the dolls names, and she just shook her head and said it was perfect for them. I had them with me the other day when someone walked up and we were talking about one of her children. I turned around and asked her, see my kids, pointing to Hope and Chance. She just smiled at me. I went on to say that yeah, I've long out-grown ragdolls, but these were more than just ragdolls.. I then gave her the story, their purpose and creation. These little dolls then opened a window. For almost an hour, we talked about adoption. This woman started telling me about how she was part of a vetrans group for parents and families, and that she would love to take part in this. She told me she knew people who wanted to adopt, and so, I had a chance to share the link to the orphan doll website and she promised she would read and follow the dolls. She also would like to host them in her house so she can take them to her meetings, I think? And that she would love to have that chance. She know people who are wanting to adopt, I might have already said that.. but I gave her a link to reeces rainbow as well - explaining that they were all disabled children there, mostly Down Syndrome and a few with other special needs. I was able to talk to her about a little two year old blind boy I am adovcating for, and a nine year old girl with Aperts. She told me her friends actually adopted special needs children, and were thinking of adopting again. 'Chances' like this, streaming forth through these dolls, are beautiful to see. I am hoping to hear from her again, and if she does read this, and you know who you are - thank you, so much, for taking interest. It is a beautiful thing I think. September 12, 2009: Had Hope and Chance at work again, didn't forget this time! Yay! This time, no one came in and they sat happy on thier chair. A couple days ago a new girl started at my work and she came in and saw them right away this morning - rag dolls? She asked, picking Hope up. I smiled at her and nodded, told her thier story and she was amazed. She sat down with Hope in her hand, "thats amazing," was what she said. I thought so too, I told her. I explained to her that there were houses waiting to recieve them after me. Its so good to see people thinking. I so wish you all could see this. I will be getting a picture with myself and the kids soon and the two at work who met them if I can. Always, Debrah September 11, 2009: Also, I named the 'kids' today, yes, she wanted to help me pick thier names. During thier time here with me the girl doll is Hope -inspired by the entry written about the Orphan Dolls at 'Over the Moon with Joy', and the little boy doll is Chance. This is so fun. Always, Debrah September 11, 2009: Here's a funny story with a bit of a twist - last night I rushed out of here and forgot the 'kids'. My bad, I know, poor babies. Now, here's the funny part of it - I get through my entire shift and about an hour before I have to go home Housekeeper C, whom I talked about in the entry under this one, comes in and looks around, "hey Deb," she says, "where's your kids?" I tell you, my face must have turned bright red. You see, we take them everywhere, like you would with real kids. She looks at me and says, "you forgot!! You forgot your kids?" I was dying laughing at this point, telling her how amazing she is. What is amazing more to me is she remembered them even if I didn't. I guess the 'kids' and I struck a cord the day before. She looked for them right away - she remembered. I guess I think that's pretty amazing. Always, Debrah September 9, 2009: I am blessed to be a link in this chain for these dolls, really and truly blessed. Last night I packed the 'kids' [dolls] up in thier own little open top bag so they could see out and took them in to work with me. Since we first started this project I had images of taking them to work and sitting them up in the chairs behind the desk. All night they stayed there for an eight hour shift, I would turn them around from time to time, so the other side could see out. But suddenly I was afraid to do this task I've wanted to do from the beginning of this ministry. All the sudden I was scared and wanted to hide them, to put them in the back, to put them away... See, my boss was coming in to work part of my shift last night. And I was worried she might be angry if I had them out. But then thought that maybe all these feelings of fear were because - these dolls were good, they were here for a good reason, to speak out for kids across the world who can't speak out for themselves; the devil would not want this, I must bare my soul a moment to you, friends and strangers alike, the devil would not want someone to speak out for these kids in the dark across the world, so of course I am going to be afraid and want to put them in the back, of course I am feeling like using my boss as an excuse. Of course, right then and there, I picked each of them up in one hand and walked to the front desk and laid them down. And I prayed, out loud, there in the lobby of the hotel, and as the words began to fall from my mouth I didn't know what to say, except that I felt the love sewn into these dolls, I felt the previous prayers over thier purpose as a tool to bring adoption to light, even if not immediately seen by me, maybe by seeing these dolls at least it would plant a seed in someone, somewhere. Because I believe that if through them we can even get one child home, it is enough. One child home is one less soul screaming in the dark for love. I want children but it is not possible for me right now. It is, possible, however, for me to send word out about these kids. So it was then and there I prayed while holding onto these two dolls, what would my part of this ministry be - God, what do you want me to do for Orphans right now? Long story short - so much peace came over me. I left the dolls sitting out. I ask this of those who come after me to welcome these dolls into thier homes, take a moment, to pray over them. The outpouring of love and grace and bygone prayers over them before yours is amazing. And for me, I had no doubt these little orphan dolls were an inspiration for us all from Him. Now, to stop baring my soul quite so deeply. Yes, I left the dolls out in the chair. Sadly, no one noticed them this morning, my boss did come in and hardly looked at them, the maintence guy didn't say a word, the first few guests checked out and didn't say a thing. It was like they were not drawn to the idea of two little dolls just sitting there. Keep this paragraph in mind because soon I will be coming back to it. So, not to be discouraged I took initiative and when one of the housekeepers came in I picked them up again,and I walk over to where the housekeeper, I will call her 'C' for the sake of privacy, was at. I asked her, "like my kids?" C looks at the dolls and smiles, "oh, they are cute," she says, there is a genuine smile on her face but I could tell she was wondering why it was I had a pair of rag dolls, "did you make them?" She asked. So I, being a good mother, bragged about my kids for a moment, "no," I said, "I did'nt make them but a lady I know did. These two," I held them up near my face, "represent all the orphans of the world..." I went on to show her that one side of each was brown and one was white, that one was a girl and one was a boy. I went on to tell her the purpose of the Orphan Dolls, and that they have quite a journey ahead of them, and that I was but one link in a chain of houses that would 'adopt' them for a while, down to the anticipation of waiting for the dolls to arrive like you would wait on your children's referals. She was amazed. Her eyes went from smiling to sparkling. I smiled too. Mission accomplished, I thought. Thier message, that morning, had been heard. So, at the end of my shift I packed them up again and came home, after a bit of time I came to write this entry and as I wrote about how no one noticed the two little dolls sitting in the chair, [like I said,we'd get back to this part] as person after person walked out and didn't say anything, I realised someone had seen them sitting there - and that someone was me. Thank you, thank you, God. Always, Debrah. September 7, 2009: Hugging the Orphan Dolls I already feel so much love and peace at a time it is needed most. Yes, I hug them. I think that is what is important - to hug your children and loved ones every day and these little dolls represent children all over the world. Today I will pray over these dolls, and take them out. The look in people's eyes when they learn what they are about - absolutely amazing. Always, Debrah September 4, 2009 First Entry: As this is our first official entry I would like to say welcome to you all from the Orphan Doll Journal. First, to tell you God is amazing, this is true. In my perspective, this ministry is from the heart, drawn up by a good friend I've come to know and I have been blessed to take part in it. The Orphan Doll Journal, what its about, from my point of view? Anything can be a tool in the hand of God, even soft little cloth dolls shipped from house to house in order to get the word out for the need of His Orphans world wide. You wait for them to arrive just as you would an adoption, though not nearly as long, for me the idea is the same. When they arrive in your home, you take them in, and take them with you everywhere as though they are children. This is a window of oppertunity, when people ask about them, you tell thier story, that they represent all the orphans world-wideand thier need for families. I can't wait to see the journey in store for these little dolls. And I am once again blessed to be part of it by having them and the oppertunity they bring in my home. The dolls arrived, carefully packed and safely, at my home on the Second of September. When I got home the morning there was a note on my door from UPS saying I had a package in the office. I knew exactly what it was, I had been anticipating my orphan's arrival for about 3 days. Sure enough, going down there, I saw a brown box from the family whom made them. I wasted no time in offering to talk about what was inside the special box, I told the people in the office about the two little dolls inside and thier purpose. You should have seen thier eyes light up and smiles cross their faces. "What a good idea," they were saying to each other. The feeling was amazing. Already, thier story begins, and they weren't even out of the box. I got the box upstairs and I set it on the table. I sat down in front of it and thought about how lovingly it had to be packed, and how they knew the next person to open it would be me. Maybe that was silly, but I didn't think so. So I opened the box, and there they were, the two little dolls I had been making this website for, the pictures I had seen of them so long - complete. I was entirely all smiles. They are here now, in my room with me, and I am thinking about naming them for the time they are here? Any suggestions? I will keep you up to date with what happens next. Always, Debrah |